NYC Mayor: ‘Reconcile Yourselves With Your God, For All Will Perish In The Tempest’

NYC Mayor: ‘Reconcile Yourselves With Your God, For All Will Perish In The Tempest’

“The furious hoarfrost bearing down upon us knows neither mercy nor reason, and all within the five boroughs will perish, cowering in their brittle dwellings,” said de Blasio, adding that none would find succor from the gale save those favored by providence to pass quietly in their sleep.

Obviously overblown rhetoric from de Blasio. We’re all going to be fine as long as we have milk and bread.

You do have milk and bread, right?

Worst portrait of Michael Jackson EVER. – from Instagram


Worst portrait of Michael Jackson EVER. - from Instagram

Worst portrait of Michael Jackson EVER.

"Cold Sun"? WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE EVERYBODY PANIC #GottaListenToLonnie #FashionablyLateMayanApocalypse – from Instagram


"Cold Sun"? WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE EVERYBODY PANIC #GottaListenToLonnie #FashionablyLateMayanApocalypse - from Instagram

"Cold Sun"? WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE EVERYBODY PANIC #GottaListenToLonnie #FashionablyLateMayanApocalypse

Dogs: Not So Colorblind!

Oddly, this week has been a big one for conversations regarding dog colorblindness for me — because there’s a conversation you’re likely to have more than once a month, amirite?! — so I figured I’d drop this here for easy reference the next time it comes up, which will probably be in the next 20 minutes or so.

I don't know why anyone would throw away such a high-quality #WolfLamp. – from Instagram


I don't know why anyone would throw away such a high-quality #WolfLamp. - from Instagram

I don't know why anyone would throw away such a high-quality #WolfLamp.

Sexy pajamas, or SEXIEST pajamas? – from Instagram


Sexy pajamas, or SEXIEST pajamas? - from Instagram

Sexy pajamas, or SEXIEST pajamas?

The Elf on the Shelf is a real bastard, you guys.

The Canadian Centre for Policy Alternatives believes the Elf on the Shelf is an excellent way to get your kids ready for the 1984-esque surveillance state we’re heading toward:

What is troubling is what The Elf on the Shelf represents and normalizes: anecdotal evidence reveals that children perform an identity that is not only for caretakers, but for an external authority (The Elf on the Shelf), similar to the dynamic between citizen and authority in the context of the surveillance state. Further to this, The Elf on the Shelf website offers teacher resources, integrating into both home and school not only the brand but also tacit acceptance of being monitored and always being on one’s best behaviour–without question.

The Elf on the Shelf
“If you don’t have anything to hide, you don’t have anything to worry about, kids! Teehee!”

And The Winner Isn’t…

Transformers 3: Not Best Picture

Transformers: Age of Extinction wasn’t bad, but Best Picture? HAHAHAHAHAHAH No.

via iO9

Arby’s: We Have Pepsi

I would have thought an ad for Arby’s, whose sandwiches I find about as appealing as being hit in the junk with a croquet mallet, and Pepsi, whose cola I think is about as tasty as malted paint thinner, wouldn’t be something I would give a crap about. And yet here we are.