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Katie Porter’s Whiteboard

When you woke up this morning and put on your bland suit in preparation for your hearing, I bet you looked yourself in the mirror and thought: Today’s the day. Katie Porter’s not going to get me.

Well, I’m Representative Katie Porter’s whiteboard, and I’ve got a message scrawled upon my glistening façade: We’re about to kick your ass.

The exchange between Rep. Katie Porter of California and an official from the CDC during a hearing yesterday was awesome. This monologue from McSweeney’s Internet Tendency is an equally-awesome companion piece.

If you haven’t seen Rep. Porter mopping the floor with the officials from the CDC yet, you should 100% watch the video below before you read the piece on McSweeney’s. It’s worth your time, I promise.

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Nearly Coherent: The Juwanna Mann Standard

There’s a new episode of Nearly Coherent!

eD! and Jeff discuss Jeff’s luxurious beard, Standing Up, Falling Down, and a new smartphone case eD! can’t stop thinking about.

Yes, the writer of the movie is my cousin, but that doesn’t mean it’s not an excellent movie, and doesn’t deserve the love we heap upon it.

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Nearly Coherent: Jeff 2024

There’s a new episode of Nearly Coherent!

eD! and Jeff discuss Valentine adventures, the price of trumpets, terrible Twitter takes, and things that could tank Jeff’s theoretical political campaign!

This episode also features the third-dumbest question ever asked on the podcast, which I more or less absolutely loved. You really should give it a listen.

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Nearly Coherent: Like an R-Rated Mr. Rogers

There’s a new episode of Nearly Coherent!

eD! and Jeff talk about new dinosaurs, the Oscars, and being so very old oh man it’s terrible.

I really liked this episode, and I hope you do, too. If not, as always, Blame Dave©.

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Entertainment News

Last Week Tonight: SLAPP Suits

After spending two years engaged in a legal battle with a coal executive who was less-than-enthused with a giant squirrel telling him to “eat shit”, John Oliver finally shares the details of what happened, explains SLAPP lawsuits, and ends the segment in a way that ensured that I’d have to post it.

I had no choice, people.

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Nearly Coherent: Things You Shouldn’t Do in a Hospital

There’s a new episode of Nearly Coherent!

eD! and Jeff talk about Joker.

And spoil every last thing in it.

Don’t say we didn’t warn you and tweet at us angrily later.

As I mention in the episode, I love all sorts of movies — I’m the person you’ll find at a showing of Gone with the Wind and the sort of weirdo who pre-ordered Fast and Furious Presents: Hobbs and Shaw about 12 seconds after I got out of the theater. I’m not going to dismiss a movie outright for just about any reason.

That said, Joker was terrible and I want the time I spent on it back, dammit.

Batman 1966's Joker, clapping.

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Nearly Coherent: Midnight Green Is the Dave of Colors

There’s a new episode of Nearly Coherent!

eD!, Jeff, and Dave talk about the new iPhones 11, Apple Watch Series 5, and all the other shenanigans from Apple’s event on Tuesday.

Find out how many shiny new things I’ll own by next week, it’ll shock and amaze you!

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Entertainment Life, Y'Know? Linkin' Log Meta Nearly Coherent News

Nearly Coherent: Banana Herpes

There’s a new episode of Nearly Coherent!

eD! and Dave discuss lunchtime mishaps, the Popeye’s chicken sandwich, and a follow-up to one of the first Dave’s News Corners he ever made us suffer through.

I genuinely enjoyed this episode, and I hope you do, too, but if not, that’s really on you, y’know?

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Linkin' Log News Technology

Apple Announces Release Date for PowerBeats Pro in Navy, Other Colors I Don’t Care About

At this point I was kinda figuring Apple wouldn’t announce the release date of the PowerBeats Pro in navy before my next work trip, but I was mercifully wrong!

So far, the excellent Beats Powerbeats Pro true wireless earbuds have only been available in black, but the other colors announced several months ago — ivory (off-white), moss (green), and navy — are arriving by the end of this month. They’ll also cost $249.95. 

Apple tells me you’ll be able to order them online beginning on August 22nd at 12:01AM PT / 3:01AM ET. All three new Powerbeats Pro colors will start shipping on August 30th and should be in Apple’s retail stores on that day as well.

Jeff purchased the PowerBeats Pro earlier in black, and kept telling me how great they are, so I’m glad the version that will match my weird “must have navy/midnight blue for all the things” is coming out so I can finally get on his level.

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Nearly Coherent: Hot and Humble

There’s a new episode of Nearly Coherent!

eD!, Jeff, Dave, and Val talk about wedding venues, baby naming, eD! being a terrible monster, and the spelling of “cookies”.

No, seriously, that is how you spell it, right?

Honestly, after this episode, there was a good 10 minute conversation between us wondering if we’ve been spelling “cookies” wrong our entire lives. It was weird.