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Nearly Coherent: Hell is Other People

There’s a new episode of Nearly Coherent!

eD! and Jeff discuss customer service, dental hygiene, and BBQ.

We also veer from customer service to a brief conversation about existential literature, which is entirely keeping with the theme of this podcast. I’m pretty jazzed about that.

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News

ABC 7 NY News: Bags of undelivered mail found in postal worker’s backyard shed on Long Island

Turns out my home town has a bit of a problem with the mail:

Postal inspectors are at a house in Nassau County Tuesday after they found loads of undelivered mail.

The USPS Inspector General’s Office confirms they are investigating, and neighbors said upwards of 60 kitchen-sized bags of undelivered mail were removed.

It’s pretty common for mail to be delivered to the wrong house where I am, anyway, so this really didn’t hurt your chances of missing an important piece of mail by all that much, honestly.

On the plus side, I now have something concrete I can point to the next time I tell my insurance company that there’s a reason I don’t get my prescriptions from a mail-order pharmacy. Woo-hoo/par-tay, etc.

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News Politics

The Morning Call: Stoning could be last ditch defense against school shooters, Blue Mountain official says

The Morning Call has news of a plan to help curb school shootings: rocks.

“If an armed intruder attempts to gain entrance to any of our classrooms, they will face a classroom full of students armed with rocks and they will be stoned,” Superintendent David Helsel said to the House Education Committee in Harrisburg.

I swear, we live in the dumbest of all future dystopian society timelines.

Source: Daring Fireball

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Entertainment Linkin' Log Nearly Coherent News Politics

Nearly Coherent: A Profound Disappointment in Humanity

There’s a new episode of Nearly Coherent but, between the devastation of Puerto Rico, the ongoing feud between Trump and the NFL, and the shooting in Las Vegas on Sunday, there was a bit of frustration for Jeff and I about just cracking jokes about stupid news shit, so a majority of this episode is us getting our yell on for people’s stupid hot takes.

But when we needed a break from that, we did find some stuff that was slightly amusing, because we can’t be all “everything is shit” all the time, y’know?


Cow Farts are Killing the Environment

Farts are the stock and trade of Nearly Coherent, so when I saw this headline from Gizmodo, I knew we had to discuss it:

We’ve Grossly Underestimated How Much Cow Farts Are Contributing to Global Warming

Sadly, I didn’t really read the article before we spoke about it, and my internet connection was being a turd so I couldn’t do a “read faster than Jeff can ask questions” maneuver, so all we really spoke about was the headline, but, still, what a great headline, right?!

A Buncha Shit Re: DC Comics Movies

I’ve been pretty vocal regarding how I feel about DC Comics’ current run of movies — specifically, they’re garbage and the company has no idea what the hell they’re doing at all — and apparently Warner Bros. has started to feel the same way, as they announced that they’re going to focus more on standalone films from now on.

Personally, I think this is a great idea — DC has always worked best in my estimation when they embrace the idea of their Multiverse, and this will be a strong differentiator for their properties from Marvel Studios. Sure, this adds a variety of ways that they can totally screw up, but this makes it easier to walk those screw-ups back in a much faster way.


That was more or less that for this week… Fingers crossed we can make it to next week without some other Earth-shattering catastrophe to distract from stupid crap! (I’m not holding my breath on that one, though, to be honest.)

Go listen to the episode yourself at Nearly Coherent or wherever else you go to get your podcasts. Whatever makes you happy.

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Entertainment News Politics Technology

Nearly Coherent 037: The Kimmy Gibbler of Worlds

This episode is proof-positive we’re in the Darkest Timeline. Sorry!


Trump v. Sportsball

No one is more upset than I am at Trump’s feud with the NFL and Stephan Curry, both because I’m a hard-line supporter of the First Amendment and because now I know things about sports, which is the last thing in the world I wanted.

In case you missed it because you’re the luckiest son of a bitch on Earth, here’s a good explainer of Trump versus the NFL, and here’s what’s what with Trump versus the NBA, both from Vox.com.

If you’ll excuse me, I have to go find a not-ugly Golden State Warriors hat.

It's me.

The Apple Watch’s Heart Rate Tracking

The Apple Watch got a whole bunch of great updates with watchOS 4, including showing resting heart rate, walking heart rate, recovery rate, and will even give you a head’s up when your heartbeat is spiking for no reason whatsoever. However, these features only work on the Series 1, Series 2, and new Series 3 Watches… the Series 0, which is the original Apple Watch, doesn’t have the hardware capable of handling that.

This isn’t really a big deal — you can always expect pretty big leaps in technical capabilities between the first generation of a device and the second or third, and you can especially expect it when the device is made by Apple. The people who might be a little annoyed by this, though, are the people who bought the first generation solid gold Apple Watch Edition, which started at $18,000. They might have expected a little more longevity out of their purchase.

Then again, they were dumb enough to buy an $18,000+ Apple Watch, so they’re kinda getting what they deserve, honestly.

A $350 Jean Jacket

Jean jackets are back, much to my dismay, and Levi’s released their new Commuter Trucker denim jacket yesterday, which retails $350. Admittedly, it’s a jacket with a li’l technological trick up its sleeve… by swiping or tapping the fabrics on the left cuff, you can control your smartphone via Bluetooth. It’s also made in partnership with Google, so you don’t have to worry about the technical know-how of the fine folks at Levi’s in the hopes that the thing will work, which is nice.

That said, for $350, you can also buy an Apple Watch and not look like a time traveler from 1997, which might be a better look all-around, if you ask me. But hey, it’s your money, spend it how you want, weirdo!


There’s plenty more in the episode to entertain and probably horrify you, so visit Nearly Coherent or wherever you get your podcast fix to give it a listen.

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Entertainment Linkin' Log Nearly Coherent News Technology

Nearly Coherent 036: Useless Trivia & Poops

About 92% of Nearly Coherent is Jeff and I talking about random crap we’ve seen on the internet. We used to say we’d tweet out links for these articles so that anyone can follow up on whatever we’ve discussed, but we’d usually forget.

Well, we won’t forget anymore!1 Here’s all the stuff we talked about in episode 36 for your further-reading pleasure!


iOS 11

Apple released iOS 11 on Tuesday, bringing with it a bevy of new enhancements. Instead of talking about that, though, I focus on the aspect that excited me most that day — an update to the Procreate app that allows for wet-on-wet painting like you’re Bob Ross. It’s pretty delightful, and you should absolutely buy Procreate on the App Store.

Bob Ross

Speaking of Bob Ross, Jeff and I share a weird fascination with the guy, and I’ve blown entire days in crazed Google Holes about the guy and his painting method. If you’d like to also be weirdly intrigued by the guy I refer to as my life coach, you should read the Wikipedia entry on him.

If you want to get to the saucy part — the dismissal of the New York art world of his work and his rivalry with his mentor William Alexander — you’re going to want to skip right to this New York Times article on Ross from 1991.

Mesh Networking

Jeff had a few questions on mesh networks, and, lucky for him, I had several answers. If you’re looking to get a mesh networking system of your own, I recommend the Netgear Orbi, which you can purchase from Amazon.

And just in case you think I’m totally full of crap, that’s also the one that The Wirecutter recommends, so there.

Who Framed Roger Rabbit?

I’m a font of useless information, and when we got into the topic of Bob Hoskins, our discussion naturally turned to one of my favorite movies, Who Framed Roger Rabbit?. After Jeff asked me if I had ever seen Cool World, and I went into a whole bit about why the work in Roger Rabbit holds up better than just about any other live action/animation mix movie made. The source of that rant is this post from an article on Sploid, which has a video that goes into detail about the work done to make the world of Roger Rabbit feel more real than Cool World or Mary Poppins ever could.

The Mad Pooper

If there’s a story about poop, you can bet we’re going to find it and talk about it in great detail. While Jeff only skimmed the headline, I read all about Colorado’s Mad Pooper on Deadspin, and now you can, too!


That should just about cover it! Go listen to the episode yourself at Nearly Coherent or wherever you go to get your podcasts, we’re easy.


  1. Probably. Whatever, I’m dumb occasionally. 
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Linkin' Log News Politics

The Arizona Republic: How do we respond to threats after our endorsement? This is how.

After endorsing a Democrat for president for the first time in their 126-year publication history, The Arizona Republic has gotten a number of threats against their staff, from the reporters who know that this sort of thing comes with the territory to the kids who are selling subscriptions door-to-door who shouldn’t be dragged into editorial matters unless you’re a freakin’ monster. Mi-Ai Parrish, the president of the paper, responds to these threats in this editorial with a reminder that the First Amendment is kinda crazy-important.

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News Politics Science Technology

WIRED: Google’s Clever Plan to Stop Aspiring ISIS Recruits

Jigsaw, Google’s think-tank, has used Google’s search advertising algorithms to help dissuade people searching for information on joining ISIS to, y’know, not join.

The program, which Jigsaw calls the Redirect Method and plans to launch in a new phase this month, places advertising alongside results for any keywords and phrases that Jigsaw has determined people attracted to ISIS commonly search for. Those ads link to Arabic- and English-language YouTube channels that pull together preexisting videos Jigsaw believes can effectively undo ISIS’s brainwashing—clips like testimonials from former extremists, imams denouncing ISIS’s corruption of Islam, and surreptitiously filmed clips inside the group’s dysfunctional caliphate in Northern Syria and Iraq.

That’s brilliant and an actual display of courage. Google deserves all the high-fives.

Source: Wired.com

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Linkin' Log News Politics

The New Yorker: Trump’s Boswell Speaks

The New Yorker has a piece on “The Art of The Deal” ghostwriter Tony Schwartz’s feelings on a Donald Trump presidency. It’s only slightly horrifying.

Starting in late 1985, Schwartz spent eighteen months with Trump—camping out in his office, joining him on his helicopter, tagging along at meetings, and spending weekends with him at his Manhattan apartment and his Florida estate. During that period, Schwartz felt, he had got to know him better than almost anyone else outside the Trump family. Until Schwartz posted the tweet, though, he had not spoken publicly about Trump for decades. It had never been his ambition to be a ghostwriter, and he had been glad to move on. But, as he watched a replay of the new candidate holding forth for forty-five minutes, he noticed something strange: over the decades, Trump appeared to have convinced himself that he had written the book. Schwartz recalls thinking, “If he could lie about that on Day One—when it was so easily refuted—he is likely to lie about anything.”

This is fine.

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Linkin' Log News Politics

Delete Your Account

Delete Your Account

The only thing that annoys me about this is that they didn’t include a GIF of Hillary dropping a mic because that’s what she just did you guys.